Swimming Me

I went for my first swimming lesson yesterday at the Putrajaya Maritime Centre. It was supposed to be an 8 weekly lessons. The first lesson concentrated on breathing technique under water and trying to get one afloat.

The first lesson, breathing above for air and blowing bubbles through your nose under water was actually one of the scariest thing I've ever done in my life! I think my biggest problem was I was so nervous and I had so many things on my mind before I start the class. The pool's temperature was also pretty cold, making breathing somewhat harder. But I eventually managed to breath under water.

Then, the instructor was trying to see whether I can float. Seriously, I felt it was too soon for that. I was nervous as it is, and the ability to float requires me to do an additional step; to relax & straighten my feet. It's like trying to drive a manual car for the first time; but even more nerve-wrecking because now you're also trying to ensure you are able to breath for your life. When the sense of panic attacked, there's no way I can float. My heart was racing even faster than when I was involved in a car accident (or saw someone I had a crush on :-p) The instructor said heavier people tend to float easier that lighter people, which was rather contradicting when you first think of it. There's a scientific explanation of course. But how fair is that, you tried to get as fit as you can but you'd need more energy to stay afloat.

Until later in the day, my heart rate would increase everytime I think of the lessons and I'm not even in the pool. Suddenly, I was made aware of my immortality & how close it can be. I guess the feeling of drowning is the closest you'd feel to how death could feel. I doubt my ability to actually continue the lessons. At one time I even felt like giving up; somewhat uncharacteristic of me.

Then I told Aliyah how I felt and my frustration; especially of my inability to float. Aliyah had already master the ability to stay afloat. I was really dissapointed. I knew it would be difficult but I wasn't expecting I would be betrayed by myself. It's like your brain and body were not synchronised. One is fighting the other consciously and subconciously. I asked her whether I should continue the lessons; she said yes and told me "mama, it was only your first time". hahaha which was spot on; but I was chickening out already ;)

I tried to remember the time I spent taking driving lessons using a manual car. And I thought hmmm...I think I chickened out then too, but I eventually got it, funny thing I improved not really from the initial lessons but through practice & experiences in driving later on. I guess the same apply with swimming; I'd need time, maybe more than an average person, but Insya Allah I will get it. I need to believe in myself and relax; be cool ;) I need to get back in the pool...