Myself - Part 4
Issues of space and the fact that I have 6 siblings had also affected part of my worldview. Some of these views may have changed, but the basic foundation remains hehe... Mainly, how I was raised (and the 'sophistication' I got from the movies and books I read) had great impacts on, one - how I manage my finances and properties and two - how I see space and in turn, integrate with them, literally and technically.
First of all, my father was the one who gave me the foundation on money management. Instead of giving us a daily pocket money, he would gave us a weekly sum. So it's up to us how we spend the money on a daily basis. If we had spent the whole lot earlier in the week, eventually we would have nothing left near the end of the week, meaning we would have to 'suffer' during school recess/break. One of my brothers, ( I think he still does this haha) would bring his own lunchbox (clever him, will ask my mother to make him some - not from his pocket money, of course) and will save his weekly sum, weeks after weeks so he can buy himself his favourite toy. So early in our lives, my father taught us the need on how to manage our finances. Whether we all got it in the end is besides the point :-P. He also frequently impressed on me that we are not rich, money don't grow on trees (although there are so-called plants haha), stressed that he worked very hard to provide for us all, so we have to be careful how we spent our money. So these practice and 'restrictions' tended to bring the two sides of me in dealing with materials then. Sometimes I can be very particular with my money and some other times I can easily slipped into impulsed-shopping. However, being the first child in the family, I don't have problems sharing my belongings nor do I have too much issues of attachment with my properties which is in line with Islamic values. Yes, sometimes if I worked hard on getting my hands on something, and heavens forbid I lost it, I will 'mourn' over the lost. But never too long. I soon got over it. Nowadays, by getting to know more about how Islam see wealth and earthly materials and their supposed treatment, I rarely even 'mourn' when something 'slipped out' of my hands. I believe it's just not my 'rezeki' and I should just move on.
I also found that I have no particular interest of brands or what most people claimed as branded items, even now, when I have money to burn (no pun intended). I have no problems with them, although sometimes I think some of the brands are overrated. I believe the items I bought must first of all serve their purpose, regardless of brands. And when it comes to choosing between comfort and looks, I would usually go for comfort. So if a certain item has both, I wouldn't mind paying a premium for it if my finances permit :-). But I don't allow myself to be confined by brands or allow others to impart their 'brandedness' on me ;).
Second, when it comes to concrete space, for example my home, my workplace, I wanted them to be as 'zen' as possible, but at the same time capable of being useful to me and pleasing to the eye. My childhood saw my mother not being allowed much creative & decorative ventures. I think one reason was because she worked full time. We used to see more of our father, since he worked less than a km away from our home, then. Mind you, although my mother worked full time, she's very good with sewing, knitting and everything to do with it. She'd knit most of the table cloth and all the lounge set decorative covers. But after awhile I guess she had accepted the fact that it was not possible to decorate the house 'fancily' with the 6 of us running around the place. Everything must only be practical & useful. Fullstop!
But this actually brought the interior designer in me when I bought my own place. I love a mixture of modern design and wood based interiors. Key point still remains, they must serve a practical function. I hate clutters and things that's out of their place. I usually wanted things to be 'hidden' than exposed. However, that's a bit problematic with people like my mother or my husband whose only worry is practicality more than asthetic values of certain interiors. Fearing turning into an OCD person and stressing myself out, sadly most times I'd just 'close one eye'. But exposed clutters, especially made by others, really stress me out.
When it comes to private space, it had always been something I treasured even before we moved to Ampang. Since there's 6 of us, and my mother worked full time, my parents had to employ lived-in maid. We had so many throughout our childhood, I myself had lost count. All Malaysians, then. When I was a child, I used to hate most of them hehe... Then, I was thinking why must my parents paid a maid but I still need to do most of the laundries and chores. Back then, there was no automatic washing machine and my younger siblings wore cloth nappies. Layers of them. And at 11 years old, I had to hand wash them all almost everyday!! I saw nothing fair in that. Still doesn't hahaha... Well, I guess, I was helping reducing the maid's duties for they always threaten to run away. To me all the maids were 'just there', didn't impart much development to myself. Further, I need to share whatever remaining space I had with her. Sometimes, I had to let go of mine too. I remembered one of my maids complaining I was always watching English movies or dramas while she wanted to watch Malay ones ;) Bummer! So when others waited till they had children to 'experience' live-in maid, I was surrounded with them since I was 7. Our last one worked for us for almost 7 years till 1995. Regardless of how these maids may have had assisted my parents caring for us, I must say having them were experiences I would not want my children to go through, ever. The only thing that saved us then was the fact my father worked close by. He will be home for lunch to check on us. And the fact he's back for lunch almost everyday was a memory I will not forget. Alhamdulillah, so far, I have manage to avoid having one. Maybe I will have a maid in the future, but definitely not for caring my children. Hence, all these experiences in turn affected how I tolerated space or the lack of it. I hate 'unnecessary' crowds or being in one. I can stay by myself countless hours if need be. I enjoy company but usually on my terms. All somewhat ingrained from my needing to juggle 'space' in my childhood.
~ Selamat Menyambut Hari Kemerdekaan ke 55 buat semua Rakyat Malaysia :)
First of all, my father was the one who gave me the foundation on money management. Instead of giving us a daily pocket money, he would gave us a weekly sum. So it's up to us how we spend the money on a daily basis. If we had spent the whole lot earlier in the week, eventually we would have nothing left near the end of the week, meaning we would have to 'suffer' during school recess/break. One of my brothers, ( I think he still does this haha) would bring his own lunchbox (clever him, will ask my mother to make him some - not from his pocket money, of course) and will save his weekly sum, weeks after weeks so he can buy himself his favourite toy. So early in our lives, my father taught us the need on how to manage our finances. Whether we all got it in the end is besides the point :-P. He also frequently impressed on me that we are not rich, money don't grow on trees (although there are so-called plants haha), stressed that he worked very hard to provide for us all, so we have to be careful how we spent our money. So these practice and 'restrictions' tended to bring the two sides of me in dealing with materials then. Sometimes I can be very particular with my money and some other times I can easily slipped into impulsed-shopping. However, being the first child in the family, I don't have problems sharing my belongings nor do I have too much issues of attachment with my properties which is in line with Islamic values. Yes, sometimes if I worked hard on getting my hands on something, and heavens forbid I lost it, I will 'mourn' over the lost. But never too long. I soon got over it. Nowadays, by getting to know more about how Islam see wealth and earthly materials and their supposed treatment, I rarely even 'mourn' when something 'slipped out' of my hands. I believe it's just not my 'rezeki' and I should just move on.
I also found that I have no particular interest of brands or what most people claimed as branded items, even now, when I have money to burn (no pun intended). I have no problems with them, although sometimes I think some of the brands are overrated. I believe the items I bought must first of all serve their purpose, regardless of brands. And when it comes to choosing between comfort and looks, I would usually go for comfort. So if a certain item has both, I wouldn't mind paying a premium for it if my finances permit :-). But I don't allow myself to be confined by brands or allow others to impart their 'brandedness' on me ;).
Second, when it comes to concrete space, for example my home, my workplace, I wanted them to be as 'zen' as possible, but at the same time capable of being useful to me and pleasing to the eye. My childhood saw my mother not being allowed much creative & decorative ventures. I think one reason was because she worked full time. We used to see more of our father, since he worked less than a km away from our home, then. Mind you, although my mother worked full time, she's very good with sewing, knitting and everything to do with it. She'd knit most of the table cloth and all the lounge set decorative covers. But after awhile I guess she had accepted the fact that it was not possible to decorate the house 'fancily' with the 6 of us running around the place. Everything must only be practical & useful. Fullstop!
But this actually brought the interior designer in me when I bought my own place. I love a mixture of modern design and wood based interiors. Key point still remains, they must serve a practical function. I hate clutters and things that's out of their place. I usually wanted things to be 'hidden' than exposed. However, that's a bit problematic with people like my mother or my husband whose only worry is practicality more than asthetic values of certain interiors. Fearing turning into an OCD person and stressing myself out, sadly most times I'd just 'close one eye'. But exposed clutters, especially made by others, really stress me out.
When it comes to private space, it had always been something I treasured even before we moved to Ampang. Since there's 6 of us, and my mother worked full time, my parents had to employ lived-in maid. We had so many throughout our childhood, I myself had lost count. All Malaysians, then. When I was a child, I used to hate most of them hehe... Then, I was thinking why must my parents paid a maid but I still need to do most of the laundries and chores. Back then, there was no automatic washing machine and my younger siblings wore cloth nappies. Layers of them. And at 11 years old, I had to hand wash them all almost everyday!! I saw nothing fair in that. Still doesn't hahaha... Well, I guess, I was helping reducing the maid's duties for they always threaten to run away. To me all the maids were 'just there', didn't impart much development to myself. Further, I need to share whatever remaining space I had with her. Sometimes, I had to let go of mine too. I remembered one of my maids complaining I was always watching English movies or dramas while she wanted to watch Malay ones ;) Bummer! So when others waited till they had children to 'experience' live-in maid, I was surrounded with them since I was 7. Our last one worked for us for almost 7 years till 1995. Regardless of how these maids may have had assisted my parents caring for us, I must say having them were experiences I would not want my children to go through, ever. The only thing that saved us then was the fact my father worked close by. He will be home for lunch to check on us. And the fact he's back for lunch almost everyday was a memory I will not forget. Alhamdulillah, so far, I have manage to avoid having one. Maybe I will have a maid in the future, but definitely not for caring my children. Hence, all these experiences in turn affected how I tolerated space or the lack of it. I hate 'unnecessary' crowds or being in one. I can stay by myself countless hours if need be. I enjoy company but usually on my terms. All somewhat ingrained from my needing to juggle 'space' in my childhood.
~ Selamat Menyambut Hari Kemerdekaan ke 55 buat semua Rakyat Malaysia :)
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