2017 ini istimewa buatku. Tempoh yang mengajar betapa pentingnya kehidupan dan kematian dan apa saja perkara di antaranya. Begitulah hakikatnya apabila hidup tahun ini berlatarbelakangkan pengalaman dari satu institut ke institut, IKN dan IJN. Sesungguhnya IKN dan IJN ini bagai langit dengan bumi dari banyak sisi. Hanya yang melalui keduanya akan memahami. Jadi akurlah apabila jadi insan terpilih.
In between my time at both institutes, I lost my mom to cancer and I went through another life and death situation with my dad's need to replace his heart valve 5 months after her death. It all felt like a dream, a bad one. But we went through it all and survived. Sadly, I still haven't found the time to properly jot down my thoughts in a coherent manner. Probably some day, when I need soothing from writing. As for now, life needs to be lived, and the time for reflections remained only in my mind and thoughts.
Somewhere in the midst of this all, at mid year, my term as the Head of Department came to an end. I made it clear, in fact, twice to my superior that I do not intend for my term to be renewed. Holding an administrative post when your passion is actually teaching is like watching your life passes through in front of your eyes in fast forward. It's fast-paced, meaningless, gone and forgotten in a few minutes. Never will I feel like doing it ever again. I applied for a teaching position and I intend to retire and continue working in this line, and not managing people who refused to be managed. But I understand now, even better than before that there's no point expecting others to understand your problems, for your problems are 'designed' especially only for you. So the only person that can deal with those problems is me, myself. I get that now.
Going into 2018, there are still people I need to forgive, habits I need to let go and projects I need to pursue with a vengeance. I will eventually forgive as time helps to heal my pain, I will eventually reduced those bad habits of mine and I will start and complete those projects in due time. My mantra for 2018 is to have less junks in people I kept as my company, in goods and in my food intake. I wanna keep it simple. Simpler than 2017.
As you can see from my #2017bestnine on IG, my life is mostly for my family and I intend to keep it that way. In the end that's what's most important anyway - FAMILY.
So this is Life as I see it ~ NFN