Saturday, September 30, 2017

IJN Valve Replacement Surgery for Abah - Pre Operation

Fate had it that almost 5 months after Mama passed away, Abah's heart's (mitral) valve function is getting worst. He had bouts of  dizziness, fatigue, difficult to catch his breath and he was unable to maintain his regular activity sometimes several days in a week.

His regular check up was set for early August at the IJN. Results from his echo-gram showed that the opening and closing of the valve is getting lesser that his usual 1.8 cm (He'd been living with this 'size' for the past 5 years or so). The doctors then suggested surgery or angioplasty, but he told them he would discuss it with the rest of us first. A couple of weeks later he was again feeling light-headed, by now somewhat regular that usual. So we rushed him to the emergency at IJN and the trauma Dr monitored him and suggested another appointment with the Consultant Cardiologist the following week along with a stress test. 

On the day of the stress test, the Consultant again suggested surgery because based on Abah's report, an angioplasty will not help improve his situation. So eventually we agreed on doing an angiogram first as part of a pre-operation assessment and will go from there. An angiogram was set immediately on a Monday after Aidiladha. It was a public holiday due to the Sea Games 2017, but IJN still runs as usual for all his patients. We admitted Abah on Sunday 3 of September and the  procedure was held at the Invasive Cardiovascular Lab a Level 1 in IJN the next morning.

The angiogram results showed that Abah's heart was in overall doing fine, no major blockage can be seen. But the angiogram also confirmed that a stent is not the best option to improve Abah's valve. So we then waited for the Cardio-thoracic Surgeon to asses his report and plan for surgery. The surgeon we chose Mr Rais (I was told a surgeon is always titled 'Mr' instead of the usual Dr - long history to elaborate) was a busy man of course. It was only the next night that he had managed to meet us to explain the available options and the risks involved for Abah, including the choice in the valve - either tissue based (bovine) or mechanical ones. The mechanical one although would last longer has strings attached in the form of a lifetime reliance on Warfarin (the infamous anticoagulant aka blood thinning medication). We were also told to choose a surgery date before being discharged the next day and the date chosen must allow sufficient time for Abah to ensure that he has a clean bill of health from a dentist in regards to his teeth in time for surgery. So the date was set for the first week of October - the 2nd.

In the few days that we had after being discharge from IJN after the angiogram, we had done some research, received information from past patients that we knew and of course Abah's own preference, and finally he decided he'd want to go with the tissue based valve instead of the mechanical one. So that is settled then. 

We then had a tahlil function last week and invited all our relatives and neighbors, to join in prayers for Abah. May the outcome of his surgery be successful and his recovery be swift. Ameen.

Today - he will be admitted for his surgery on Monday. I will keep everyone posted through this blog from time to time.  Please pray that everything goes as planned, Insya Allah.

Saturday, July 29, 2017


Sometimes you find after all your hard works and efforts to ease other peoples' life's, there would still be one or two people who got your intention all wrong, see everything in a negative light and shows no sense of appreciation at all.

Yes, it's frustrating. But mostly to me; annoying. I meant not only you don't appreciate other people's efforts, but you take an additional step to put other people's down in order to build your own deluded self-image. I'm annoyed because you are such a waste of my time.

I have long accepted the fact that, I shall never receive any appreciation, recognition nor acknowledgement for all the good deeds I do from people. I should not be expecting any, because they are not the right person I should turned to. I am okay with that.

I just have no patience with pest. And there's just too many out there. They are not really important, but if you don't deal with or ignore them earlier on, they become a cancerous presence in your life.

Yes, a cancerous parasitism pest!

Tuesday, June 13, 2017


Day 13 Ramadan 1438h, 8 June 2017:

"Dan Kami wajibkan manusia berbuat baik kepada kedua ibu bapanya; ibunya telah mengandungnya dengan menanggung susah payah dan telah melahirkannya dengan menanggung susah payah. Sedang tempoh mengandungnya beserta dengan tempoh menceraikan susunya ialah dalam masa tiga puluh bulan. Setelah ia besar sampai ke peringkat dewasa yang sempurna kekuatannya dan sampai ke peringkat umur empat puluh tahun, berdoalah ia dengan berkata: "Wahai Tuhanku, ilhamkanlah daku supaya tetap bersyukur akan nikmatmu yang engkau kurniakan kepadaku dan kepada ibu bapaku, dan supaya aku tetap mengerjakan amal soleh yang Engkau redai; dan jadikanlah sifat-sifat kebaikan meresap masuk ke dalam jiwa zuriat keturunanku. Sesungguhnya aku bertaubat kepadamu, dan sesungguhnya aku dari orang-orang Islam (yang tunduk patuh kepadamu)." ~ Surah Al-Ahqaf 46:15

Ameen Ya Rabbal A'lamin. 


You're not here to see me turned 40 today, Mama, which also marked your 40th year as our mom 😔😭. I have never been a fan of celebrating birthdays, but I do remember how lively you were when you celebrated ours. It would always be a joyous affairs. And here we are reaching this date in separate realms. I could wish for so many things, but for today and all other days onwards, I pray Allah showers His Mercy upon you, grants you respite until the day of judgement comes and reunite you with all her loved ones in Jannah. 

Dan Ya Allah, untukku, Engkau kasihanikanlah daku, Engkau berikanlahku hidayah dan petunjukMu agar aku senantiasa sedar yang aku hanyalah sekadar seorang Musafir menuju akhirat.

Ameen Ya Rabbal A'lamin

Celebrating Aliyah's belated birthday too :-)

Wednesday, May 31, 2017


It has been a month now since Mama left us. It's now our first Ramadan without her. So I told myself I would write this. But as the screen stares at me, tears come rolling down my face. I will write this for her. I will... I will, just in time for my 40th birthday. For now, let me 'enjoy' the few days before that date...

Friday, April 28, 2017


April will now be remembered as the month where all my family members near and far rallied together, giving us the support we need to provide the best care and comfort for Mama, especially for the past two weeks. No amount of gratitude can repay all the act of love and kindness they showed to her and all of us during those trying two weeks. May Allah reward all of them with Jannah, In Sya Allah. 

Sadly, at 10.15 pm on 24 April 2017 (Monday), Mama eventually succumbed to her illness and passed away surrounded by all her close family members :-((

إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ

Mama with Aliyah last October, before her health starts to deteriorate...

Mama's love, care and concern is the glue that bind all of us together. She shall be remembered in our prayers as such a person. May Allah forgive her for all misgivings and grant her Jannah. Ameen Ya Rabbal 'Alamin...

Her last birthday with all of us last December...
I kept repeating the past two weeks over and over again in my mind, but at the moment everything is too raw to be written down. Some day perhaps...

As for now, please rest Mama, I will do you proud and take care of everyone. May we all meet again some day in Jannah, In Sya Allah.

Friday, March 31, 2017

Uncertainties (2)

January 2017 started with uncertainties and basically ended with more uncertainties. But that is life, no matter how hard we try to assure certain things go the way we want them to be, nothing is definitive. Only Allah has that power, we only make plans. 

Mama has been diagnosed with cervical cancer for a while now. She first had her initial bleeding in June 2015, but she only had it checked in August 2015. She started treatment at the Cancer Institute in Putrajaya by late 2015 and completed her first round of combination treatment by May 2016. She had even managed to fast and celebrate Aidilfitri free of any for two months. But come Aidiladha, she started bleeding again. We went back to the oncologist at the Cancer Institute and made another rounds of check up. It was discovered that although her cervical cancer may have subsided but there were bit and pieces here and there and some of the cancer cells had metastasizes to her liver. She listened to the doctors with most of us there and was the one who finally made the decision to proceed with second bout of chemotherapy, a different type, a different dosage. None of us really said anything much, because seriously we are not sure what else to do. She started chemotherapy in November last year. Early this month, the doctors decided to stop Mama's 5th chemo cycle for her cervical cancer treatment for her platelet was going haywire. Further, her cervical bleeding is still ongoing, showing signs that the chemotherapy is not doing much for her. Her body could no longer take the chemo toxicity level. I personally feel they should have stopped it after the 3rd cycle, as they promised to do a review after the 3rd one initially, but they didn't. I meant it's pointless to proceed anymore if it's not doing much for her.

I was the one who finally got her officially 'discharged' from chemotherapy.
I stalked the doctor, until I got to meet her up and ask for a thorough explanation

It's been a month now. She's getting weaker by the day. She lost a total of almost 20 kg since her treatment last year. Funny, at one point she was saying - "I spent thousands of ringgit in my younger days to lose weight, but now I lose it effortlessly". In fact, she wasn't losing it effortlessly, she simply wasn't eating. 

Tomorrow, it's going to be April. In two months time, I turned 40. Will she still be there for me, to celebrate my 40th much uncertainties. But one thing is certain, we all love her dearly. Abah definitely. He's been going around trying to get her here and there for alternative treatment. I fear the day when he had to be seated, to accept all that is coming.

Please pray for my Mama, pray Allah ease her pain, pray she is granted Khusnul Khatimah. 


Thursday, February 16, 2017

Seminar Companies Act 2016’s Implementation

So, life must go on...

Next immediate project will be handling the Seminar on the "Companies Act 2016's Implementation".

The Companies Act 2106 is now in its first implementation phase starting from the end of January 2017. It’s a brand new statute with some major changes that totally revamp how company law and its compliance is dealt with.

So I thought organizing a seminar would be the next best thing to going for a holiday... haha

Anyway, please click the link above for further details. I hope the seminar will help especially academics who need to prep for the new company law course soon. It will be a transitioning period for all, and hopefully the seminar will shed some light on how we prepare for the new implementation of the Companies Act 2016.

 The main topics of discussion would be:
  • “Implementation and enforcement of the Companies Act 2016: Key Changes”
  • “Companies Act 2016 vs Companies Act 1965: Academic issues in transition”