Wednesday, August 14, 2013


"Clearly, I was being snubbed. For awhile I do what most people do when they got snubbed - they questioned themselves, they wonder what went wrong, they wonder what they could do to make it right. Simply said, it hurts and I wish to make it better, to be reaccepted.

Then, realization hit. I realised there's no need to feel hurt, nothing went wrong. Perhaps everything went too well. And indeed there's nothing I could do to make it better, for probably the one that snubbed me was actually the one in pain! Snubbing me was never intended to lessen that pain nor to transfer them to me. It was meant more as a way to give a sense of self control to him or her, at least what's left of it.

If I am right, until the sense of being in control is in the person's hands, I will never be reaccepted. I understand that now. I won't try to make things right. I won't wallow in self pity and feel hurt. I will hold on to my own dignity and live in accordance with my own standards. I will remain calm and move on.

But please know that if someday the tables are turned, I pray and wish that I won't do the same to him or her, for I know, having control is an illusion! We never had them and will never will. Whatever sense of control we have is only what He decides to let us 'feel'! For All control belongs to Him..." ~ When life meets mine, Alisha Uzaira.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Uwais said the darnest thing: Raya Version

1) Bilik Kat Luar

We spent the night on 1st Syawal at my grandfather's place, we had to sleep in the hall, for we were giving leeway to my brother's family to have one of the available rooms for their 10 months' old baby is still breastfeeding. It's better for them to have the privacy. I thought I'd just sleep with my aurat covered complete with a blanket to fend off the kampung cool predawn weather. 

While I was setting the sleeping area, Uwais questioned me: "Mama, kenapa bilik kita kat luar?" Even my Aunt laugh out loud hearing his question. Then I just said "Bagus tidur kat luar ni, luas, ada banyak 'aircond' " He simply looked at me, and after awhile later asked me the same question again haha...We had a good night sleep anyway 

2) Raya Panjang Sangat

This morning at breakfast, Uwais said: "Mama, kenapa raya panjang sangat?" 
Then I asked: "Kenapa Abang cakap macam tu?" 
"Abang penat nak makan, makanan banyak sangat." 
I smiled and said: "Mana panjang, raya sehari je." 
Then he quipped: "Abis tu kenapa dah habis raya, ada orang bagi duit raya lagi". 
I told him "Sebab dia baik hati nak bagi." 
And he concluded "Ohhh, maksudnya dia bukan nak bagi duit raya, dia nak bagi duit jer, tapi letak dlm sampul duit raya, kan Mama?"
I just nodded hehe

~ Two latest models for SSPN with their tabungs for keeping all that duit raya 

Thursday, August 1, 2013


In the past couple of weeks I have been writing and writing and writing away. Most in my notebook, some more in my mobile's note. But I've been too busy at work to actually get some of them into the blog. Most are creative writing which I aimed to finish by September, but have way more to go!! Time spent on being creative also mean that I haven't been writing for my academic publication - my 'periuk nasi' writing as for now that is. I hate academic writing. They are sooooooo boring!! If not because Simon has been 'hambating' me, I would not want to care about them at all. 

Anyway, I have decided I should go for the "Translation Course" come next year. Maybe it's time to put some use of my ability to switch between the two languages. Seriously need to find a niche. Soon, the time to be the Jack of all Trades will need to end. I need to triple up my savings for next year plan, if I were to take a longer unpaid leave. but we plan, Allah may have better plans for us. Still we need to plan for the best, and somewhat expect the worst? hehe...apa2 pun must work and work...