Wednesday, June 27, 2012
I touch this and think of that
I look upon that and remember this
Then I worked on this, but my heart’s with that
So I tried doing both, but my mind just freeze
So I took a deep breath and think away this and that
Because I know
A little bit more of this and that, soon I’m no longer me...
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Today, I embark on my usual walk to the university. It's the winter's solstice for Australia today and Melbourne is pouring and will be wet for the next couple of days. Melbourne is not the place to be – when its winter becomes wet, cold and windy – and miserable. But I braced it anyway, because soon enough I know I won’t be facing similar elements back home. Something to tell the grandkids, I tell myself hahaha...
Looking back, I think I have spent hundreds of walking-hours throughout the past 4 years. It was a reminiscent of my 5 years walking to my primary school in KL in the 80s. Comparatively speaking, these 2 periods of my life were the periods where I was deep in self-thought the most. Often, having to walk alone, through a considerable distance, I have time to kill. So during all those walks I consider things, think over issues, life and death, love and pain (yes, I was between 8 to 12, then :-P) and then in PhD years, I think over my research, finding gaps, solutions and about life in general, mostly during my walks. I kept close a recording device – my mobile usually – and recorded all the ‘eureka’ moments :-P
I am towards the end of my PhD journey now and somehow I find myself having difficulty killing off the thesis. There are just so many things running through my mind that I felt like reassembling my brain. The only solace and comfort was the thought of seeing and embracing the children at the end of all this. I am praying and hoping that with a couple more walks Allah will grant me some inspiration. Only He knows what’s bothering me, and after various calls to Him to ‘release’ me of such ‘impediment’ have not been answered, I accept the fact that perhaps it’s not an impediment and that maybe there’s some wisdom behind why I am granted with the need to deal with it. I need to walk on...Insya Allah, all will be well :-)
P/S: My long absence has more or less to do with finalising my thesis (and maybe my time on FB :-P)