Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Myself - Part 3

Having 6 siblings, private space was problematic. You are so used to having your siblings around, there were fun to be with but there are times when you wished they would just give you more space to breathe hahaha... The issue of space got worst when we all moved to Ampang because my father got promoted. The old place was related only to his old job scope, so we had to let go of the place. To me it was a very sad occasion. After more than 10 years we had to say goodbye to all memories attached to the place. I wish all the huge Angsana trees surrounding the house (which are still there by the way) would remember us :( With Angsana flowers, it was always Autumn in our yards every other months :-) Love it!! Those experiences were simply irreplaceable. Compared to the old abode, our 'new' house was considered a downgrade. All those 'space' we had as children suddenly gone in an instant. With the move in economic status we lost a beloved home. I guess, we can't have them all. We all eventually got used to the smaller space. Further, most of us spent our times at boarding schools and campus hostels, so there are times when it's not too bad.

But, I learnt to do a lot more with the lost of space, I learn to guard my feeling. For there were times, private space, especially to cry your heart out over something was very limited. And as a young complicated girl trying to deal with this 'funny' life and the complications that come along with it, there were lots occasions for that, but unfortunately not many 'opportunity' to do so. So I restrained myself and started writing. I write the most when I am in pain. I write about life. I write about how I feel. I dare say I write all my pain away. Sometimes I sent my writings to the school magazine. Some got through ;-) So I found out writing as a mechanism to deal with hurt and pain at an earlier age. Funny thing, when I am happy, I wrote rubbish! hehehe I guess perhaps it's true, most good writers are tormented souls.

Guarding my feelings is also a defence mechanism against getting too involved and therefore, I thought then, there will be less hurt and pain if something goes wrong. Some would ask, what is there to be hurtful or painful of? You were just teenagers then! haha...Well, I guess I am a very sensitive person. And I rarely do things halfway. If I love and care for something/someone, I do it through and through. And if I despise something/someone, I will hate it with a vengeance (pretty bad, I know) So I am a bit of a drama queen, then (well, maybe still a bit of that left haha). You see, doing both, love and hate at extreme levels, tend to hurt you more. So after several times being in that situation, I learn to guard my true feelings and became rather aloof. Most people who don't know me would say the same thing when they first met me. It took some time for me to warm up to others, not because I don't love people, but most times because I tend to love them too much. So when they don't live up to my expectations, I tend to feel betrayed.

However, nowadays I no longer see things that way. I realized now that Allah has made everyone, everything with its own purpose and function in life. Some may be there to make you happy, some make your life miserable, some make you think, some is just there for you, while some needs you to be there for them. So it's unfair for me to either just love them or hate them for they being there have different aims in my life. It's also unfair for me to ask for similar treatments because that's not how life works. I see my life events and the people attached in them as opportunity for me to be grateful and to serve my dues in this temporary life. Even bad things have a reason to be there. For example, I became a better writer when in pain :-P. These days, I learn to let my guard down, well, at least the first few layers of them, especially in the right occasion. You can't blame a girl for being extra cautious ;-) My love is precious :-P

Having worked for the past couple of years and proceeding with my PhD, I have also improved, I think, my public relations skills (which is not truthfully, in my nature -I'd prefer to be direct!). Past expereriences at work had taught me that some people cannot take or do no take the naked truth too kindly. Now, I tend to observe situations and the people involved before making my statements. There are ways to get into people's mind and telling them directly that they suck, is not the way to go hahaha. My PhD experiences had also taught me that everyone, no matter how low their ranks in your life, are important to you. I need to be nice (and act nice hehe) to everyone or at least try to! It's difficult for me, for being aloof all my life seems a safer thing to do. Opening up, even a little, on my part, is scary because it tends to also expose my vulnerabilities. But I have accepted the fact that it's alright to be vulnerable, because that increases our humility in life. Our life in this world is dependent on others. Allah has made it that way, so we can worked out how to go along with one another. I must say, this exercise of 'opening up' have recently allowed me to get acquainted with people, some seniors with vast experiences either in my line of work or even life in general. Seniors, especially ladies actually make great companies :-). Just pray you found the right ones ;-) 

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Myself - Part 2

I actually learnt a lot from movies and fictions, apart from the language. Some may be just mindless movies and novels, but there were some that taught me about 'sophistication', about 'differences' and from there I contrast them with society around me and developed some form of critical thinking and self evaluation. At an early age, some of these movies and stories left a lasting impression on me and I started being 'critical' of the idiosyncracies in my society. However, some of those critical views were 'set-off' by the way my father raised me. My father's role sort of balanced my critical views of my society. He became a symbol that despite the presence of those idiosyncracies, they were still hope, they were still rationale, sensible, responsible man like him.

Being the eldest, I was expected to be a role model for the rest of my siblings. They'd usually be sessions we'd called as 'buka buku' every time the school's result were finalized where my father would give a small briefing about responsibilities, about being steadfast in whatever we do, especially in our studies. He'd stress on the importance of education because despite not being poor, we are not well off either and he strongly believed with education our lives would change for the better. Yes, then it was rather stressful to be 'allocated' with so much responsibilities. I even noticed these meetings/briefings becoming less as he aged and him being less strict with my younger siblings. Looking back, I now refused to see the differences in treatment as unfair, because in fact it was a fair advantage on my side for the instilment of those values, had made me into who I am today.

My teenage and pre-adoslecent years were somewhat of a blur to me.  I guess raging hormones made you do stupid things and commit blunders. So why bother writing them down haha...I spent the first 3 years of my secondary school in Puteri Wilayah in Kg Bharu. I was supposed to be in a boarding school, the Sekolah Menengah Agama KL. But since the school's complex was yet to be ready, all the students were 'parked' in Puteri Wilayah for almost 3 years. But school wise, especially as teenagers Kg Bharu is the place to be. There's just so many fond memories of the place. Some of my school projects involved going around the place. There was yet to be a KLCC then, so there were less traffics, less people and the place was considered safe for us girls. I wished they wouldn't tear the whole place down. Being an all girls school too made us do crazy things sometimes. But as I said just now, it was a blur hehe...

After 3 years, we were all moved to Bukit Manjalara in Kepong. At one time, I had my brother and sister in the same school. hmmm...not so much fun there :-P But my parents would visit us every other week and cooked us a banquet. My mother is a great cook. So near every weekend we would called and make our request. It was one of the most memorable memories I had at the school. Other than that, more blunders haha... I guess where boys came in the equation, you'd do more foolish things..huhu am not telling. Anyway, school was a bit more stressful than usual, because I had to sit for my SPM by then. But I did well. I was offered to go to US, but my father disapproved. So I head straight to IIUM to do Law. Law was a sensible choice for me, although my father was somewhat reluctant at first to let me take the offer. Well, perhaps it was the right choice then. Although, I would really love it if they had thrown in a psychology minor in the course. But unfortunately nada... Maybe in another life...

The first four years of uni was excellent. Then, life pressures caved in. You saw people with different backgrounds, different lifestyles, different ideals and saw them do various things and saw yourself somewhat stucked at one point in time. Then, I started doing foolish things again, especially when men came in the equation haha...hmmm..I am sensing a pattern here :-P However, eventually, I found a husband and settled down. huhuhu that sounds so simple isn't it - well, it wasn't. But in that journey  and the problems that came with it, I got to know various acquaintances, became close to some considered as misfits in the uni's society. They were 'outcast', not necessarily friendless, but not into the mainstream either. I guess I was one of them too, since I go along pretty well with them hehe. But my knowing them taught me an important lesson, not everything you see someone projected to others represent that person as a whole. There's more than meets the eye. So I learnt to be less judgmental of others.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Myself - Part 1

I browsed my blog these past years and noticed that I have never actually written anything about myself. These past couple of months, I realized that there are things about me that had remained the same and some others that may have changed. Getting to know others in the pre-election climate had also made me realised a few other things that I may have simply taken for granted before. Besides, my PhD journey had also graced me the experience of knowing people from various backgrounds. And I thought, in the midst of them all, who is this Nor Fadzlina Nawi. Perhaps, the time has come to pen some of 'me' down :)

I was born in KL 35 years ago. My name carries the meaning 'Cahaya Kelebihan Kami' (Please google translate hehe). I have also thought that perhaps it was a combination of my mother and father's name - Fa from Faridah & Na from Nawi, hehe but I have never asked them. Might be an illusion ;) I am the first child/daughter of 6 (3 girls & 3 boys) All 6 of us was born, bred and buttered right smack in the middle of the city centre. We used to live in an old semi-detached single storey quarters lot in Bukit Petaling near the old Istana Negara, since I was around 5. The house was an only lot with a single gate and yards as big as two football fields. Surely, we had the most fun as we spent our childhood there. Our neighbour for most of our lives there was an old Chinese couple, my father's colleague. Compared to us noisy lots, they led a quiet life with their daughter. But they were very nice. In 2010, while collecting data for my thesis I detoured to the old neighbourhood. The remains of the house is still there, but won't be there for long. They have now turned the whole area into a beautiful ecopark with lots of water features and all.

I spent my younger days schooling in MGS in Brickfields, the area where all the 'Sentrals' are now. I used to walk around 1.5 km to school using a shortcut, crossing a bridge on the Federal Highway nearby Kuen Cheng Chinese school. I did that almost every day for 6 years, regardless of whether it was the morning or afternoon session. I will be picked up only if it rained cats and dogs. I doubt my father will let me walk to school in today's 'environment'. I loved my school. I thought it was the best and beautiful school in the lane. Mind you, during the 80s, there were 5-6 schools on the same stretch of road. Mine being the first in the row. I visited the school sometime in 2010. The school had really been affected by the development around it. It used to be a grade A school with almost a thousand student. I talked to the current headmistress and she noted that it's no longer the case, since more schools are now developed nearby new housing areas & parents would rather not send their children to a school in the middle of the city centre. Kinda sad actually. I learnt a lot there, being 1 of the 6 malay girls in the class of 42 students throughout my 6 years there. It was also there, I started to polish my english. Well, partly ;).

English is a problematic equation for me. I don't remember the time, but I started to think in English by the time I was 10. Unlike some families that spoke English at home, mine didn't. My father is very good in English and Mathematics, but we never converse in English with each other. I guess it was all the English books I was interested in reading that made me good at it. Simon, my PhD supervisor used to say 'I have the ear'. I was also very keen on watching English movies. I think I watched hundreds of them by the time I was 12. Even listed the movies :) I remembered standing really close in front of the TV set at night in the dark so I can hear the actors/actions because I had to reduce the volume, fearing being caught watching the TV during school nights ;) Go figure why I was with glasses by the time I was 10 :) School helped improved my skills because almost everybody spoke English in class, the very least broken ones. By the time I was 12, the foundation was strengthened through a weekly home tutoring in Bangsar by one of my teacher before the UPSR exam in 1989.

Withheld

I know how it feels
I know what it is
And I swear to God
I won't go there again
Even if my heart break to pieces
Even if my life depends on it
Even if I no longer contained myself
I won't go there again...

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

For sure...

Walked the longest path
To catch a glimpse of you,
Wished upon the stars countless nights
To catch you in my dreams.
For sure in life nothing is, 
Perhaps the heart can lived on 
A glimpse of the future
A dream to remember
Perhaps the heart will wither,
Only time will tell, 
For nothing is for sure.

~ Salam Aidilfitri daripada saya sekeluarga. Maaf Zahir dan Batin :-)

Saturday, August 18, 2012

LASIK @ Prince Court Medical Centre - Operation Day

In preparation for the surgery, the night before and early during Sahur, I had to drop some antibiotics drops into my eyes and also Isopto Carpine drops in order to reverse the effect of the Cyclo drops instilled during screening. I was also advised to take a painkiller - Arcoxia during Sahur. 

Initially the operation was scheduled for after Jum'ah prayer. So my sister and Aliyah planned to do some shopping before heading to the hospital. However in the midst of our shopping activities :-), the nurse from the LASIK centre had called wondering if we could come earlier, since the Prof would be held in a major surgery later in the day and she had time to do the operation before Friday. So we rushed home and head to the hospital and reached there before 12 noon. 

At the centre, a gown and head cap was put on me by one of the nurses and I was shoved into the operation theater. One of the technician asked me to lie down on the operation 'bed' that could actually revolved from the flap cutting machine to the laser machine.  First he checked my corneas and their dilation level. He confirmed their readiness.

One of the nurse then explained to me on what I need to do during the flap cutting procedures. I was asked to focus on a single point and not move my view elsewhere regardless of the various lights I see under the machine. Truthfully, despite all the youtubes of the procedure posted online, I had purposely avoided watching any of them for fearing that I would 'chicken out' :-P. I think it was a good decision on my part, because having my sister told me how she saw the whole operation from outside the theater, sounds rather scary! On my part, I don't actually feel any pain at all, right from the beginning till the end of the procedure, Alhamdulillah.

Before the procedures started, my glasses were removed, I was asked to look at the usual 'E' board and of course saw nothing ;-). My face was cleaned and numbing drops were instilled in my eyes. Then came the flap cutting procedures. Prof Muhaya started the whole procedure by reciting Al-Fatihah and her motivational speech. Strangely enough, or maybe not so, I had chosen to remain as quiet as possible. (I thought, let's let the doctor do her thing with less distraction hahaha...) They taped one eye shut and put in the eyelid opener in the other so I will not be able to blink and started the corneal flap cutting procedures. It ended in less than 5 minutes and the whole process was repeated in the other eye.

Immediately afterwards, they just pushed me to the laser machine. Similarly, they taped one eye shut and put in the eyelid opener and asked me to look at one single light on the  machine. The Prof then started to 'peel open' the corneal flap cut earlier. Nothing painful really. Looking at the video posted online on her other patients later, the procedure looked rather painful than it actually felt. Cause truthfully, I just felt like a tugging sensation and throughout the whole procedure I can either see lights, clear ones or blurry, so no sense of panic ever enter yourself. Once the flap was pulled to the sides, she started the laser procedures. I was instructed to look at one of the lights until it dim. I can smell like something is burning for awhile and within minutes, the process was over. The same process was repeated on the other eye, then. 

Laser Procedures

Throughout, the whole thing, Prof Muhaya was giving her motivational inspiration. One thing that really caught me was the point where she said "Only positives people will succeed, negatives people will only see negative things". I was thinking..hmm great motivational speech because immediately after the whole operation, I guess a lot of people would expect great result. But it may not be necessarily the case. Different people have different 'reaction' to the whole operation and its aftermath. So the key point she's trying to instill is to be positive and think of all the things you can now achieve with your new sights, instead of whining on why it's not what you'd expected them to be. (great marketing too by the way hehe) 

I didn't have any terrible pain afterwards, did not need any painkillers, just the eye drops - the anti inflammatory ones and the antibiotics. I also felt rather sleepy, maybe a mechanism for the eyes to take a rest. I can immediately see the difference in my sights, but everything looks as though I was looking through a fog or haze. I was given a UV protected sunshades and instructed to continue the drops for a week. I rested at the day ward for an hour - the 3 of us making the most havoc hahaha, made appointment for post-surgery check up and then the 3 of us were heading home. 

Aliyah & me at the Day Ward, post operation :-)

LASIK @ Prince Court Medical Centre - Pre Operation

It has now been one week pass my LASIK Procedure with Prof Muhaya at the Prince Court. I am still getting used to my 'new' set of sights :-) A lot of people have been asking about my experience going through it, so I thought I should penned them down on how the whole procedures felt from my point, pre LASIK operation, during and immediately after the operation and my current recuperating & adjustment status.

Some people, including the Prof herself had asked me why I wanted to do it. Personally, I think I wanted to 'liberate' myself, no longer having total reliance on my glasses to see. And I guess the timing is right, with my PhD thesis submitted. Me sans glasses meant I can 'rough' play with the children without worrying about my glasses anymore and I can also start taking swimming lessons and accompany Aliyah during her swimming trips :-)

After several days of Istikhoroh, I decided to go ahead with the process and booked myself for a screening session. The staff nurse at the LASIK centre had promised me that the screening can usually be done the day before the procedure, and suggested that I came in on a Thursday for screening and proceed with the operation on a Friday. So I was booked for screening on the 9th of August. I came down to KL with Aliyah on the 8th and on the 9th morning drove myself to the PCMC in Jalan Kia Peng, KL.

First stop was the LASIK Centre on the 3rd floor of the PCMC. I registered myself by filling up some forms and were asked to later enter the dark room to do 3 types of eye scans. All 3 scans requiring your eyes to focus on certain lighting on the machine and to hold & open your eyes for awhile for the nurses to scan them. That took less than half an hour.

Next I was asked to go the ENT clinic on the same level, but at the other end of the hospital's wing. (Oh yes, so just you know, the hospital looked more like a hotel to me, than a hospital - even had a concierge service). At the ENT clinic, I was supposed to be going through more tests. But I was held at the waiting area for almost 2 hours. I guess, from the 'sound' of things, a lot of people had wanted to do their LASIK before hari raya, because the Prof's timetable is quite full after Ramadhan. I had to 'watch' these elephants painting and wondered why they had used elephants to represent the ENT clinic. (Later, Hasbi, a friend on FB gave me the connection, looking at those big ears and long trunks/nose and those eyes - clearly elephants make a great 'mascot' for the clinic) 


Finally, after Zuhr, I was ushered inside the screening waiting room, waiting for my turn to see the optometrist, Mr Yap. Mr Yap, first explained in lay man terms what's involved in the whole LASIK procedure. Then he check my sights and confirmed my powers,  astigmatism level, the age of my eyes (it was 32 years old) and for eye-dominance (it was my right left eye). Then, came the 'fun' part haha...He discussed the option for me to have 'blended vision' LASIK considering my age and the probability that I would be needing reading glasses to read sooner after LASIK. 


With 'blended vision' LASIK, the operation will leave one eye with minimal power so as to produce one eye that sees objects close up, whilst the other sees objects that are far away. The brain will merge images from both eyes, interchangeably depending on the distance, allowing good vision for near, intermediate and far minus the glasses. This meant   with this kind of operation, getting a 20/20 vision is most probably not going to be the case. 

Mr Yap later had me gone through a simple procedure to see whether I will get reading problems in the near future. Several eye drops were instilled in my eyes including the 'cyclo' to dilate my eyes, and temporarily paralysed their focusing muscle. I think they are several others including the ones testing my reading abilities with my current glasses. In a few minutes, I then experienced how it was to have reading problems. OMG!! it was sooo annoying!! I think it's even worst that wearing glasses for my shortsightedness.

I then went in back to check my sight with Mr Yap and agreed to do the 'blended vision' LASIK considering that I will still be doing a lot of reading in my line of work and no way am I going to suffer wearing reading glasses so soon. He confirmed my latest power and took my photos to go along with the records. More drops were then instilled to dilate my eyes and later more scans were done. A few minutes before meeting the Prof, more eye drops were instilled again for confirmed dilation for the final eye check with her. By the time I got to meet her, it was already 4 pm. A whole day at the PCMC.

Prof Muhaya was how I imagined she would be, sweet and charismatic. She checked my eyes and confirmed that they were healthy and asked when I would like to proceed with the operation. I asked for the next day, considering that I had to travel from Sungai Petani again if I had to do it another date in the near future. So she discussed with her staff nurse and manage to squeeze me in for Friday's schedule :-) Alhamdulillah. I made payments, collected my medications and had to drove back with my eyes partly dilated. It was a bit difficult to see, like driving in a haze but I managed and Alhamdulillah safely arrived home.

Someday...

Wall to wall
Back to back
Yearning, longing
Tears flowed
Both, both sides

Hearts imprisoned
Not silenced in content
Minds ever hoping
Someday...
For lives not on hold


Sunday, August 12, 2012

Doakan...


Dalam sendu pilu anakanda
Esakan keluh kesah hidupku
Aku termimpi dalam kasihmu 
Terbayang senyum raut wajahmu
Terkesan erat dalam dakapan
Andai aku sekuat kamu
Berdiri utuh tepis segala
Pasti kasihku seteguh kasihmu
Sungguh rinduku tiada bertepi
Ku kenang dirimu dalam doaku
Sungguh aku impikan makammu 
Lebih indah di seberang sana
Doakan aku wahai bonda
Doakan aku wahai bonda
Aku doakan kau aman sejahtera...

Al-Fatihah buat nendaku Hajjah Che Wah bt. Baba dan jua nenda sebelah bondaku, Othman b Tahir.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Let me in...

I saw you by the window again
Sitting close to the window pane
It seemed to have become a frequent space
You looked right through me
As if  you are in another place
Your face so empty, yet so distraught
Even the clouds gathered to share your solemn thoughts
So I raised my hand and prayed
"O Ar-Rahman, what's bothering her may be beyond despair, 
How I wish I can take my share,
Please O Rabb, have mercy and ease her pain,
O Dear Mama... how I wish you would let me in..."

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Lapor Diri

Alhamdulillah selesai sudah sesi melapor diri kembali ke UiTM Kedah baru-baru ini. Ini kali ketiga melapor diri semenjak memulakan tugas sebagai pensyarah, kali pertama di Matrikulasi UIA pada tahun 2001 dan kemudian apabila memulakan khidmat sebagai pensyarah di UiTM Kedah tahun 2002. Disebabkan hari pertama selepas 4 tahun kembali bekerja, maka aku dengan jayanya telah merasmikan kasut Skechers ku yang baru :-D (Rupa-rupanya ada juga peminat Skechers ni di pejabat hehe)




Agenda pertama melapor diri adalah mengisi borang lapor diri dan kemudiannya mengemaskini cap jari ke dalam sistem 'finger-flex' Bahagian Pentadbiran UiTM Kedah. Aku memilih menggunakan jari telunjuk kanan atau/dan kiri dan bukannya ibu jari kerana dimaklumkan lebih mudah diterima/dikenalpasti oleh mesin 'finger-flex'. Maka selepas-selepas ini setiap hari bagi tujuan keberadaan ke pejabat, aku harus 'mendaftar' masuk dan keluar cap jariku melalui mesin tersebut, tiada lagi penggunaan 'punch card' (kali terakhir digunakan dalam tahun 2008).

Kemudian selesai urusan kemaskini rekod cap jari, aku ke Bahagian IT untuk membuat kad pekerja yang baru. Sekejap sahaja urusannya, malah kad siap 'on the spot'! Teringat pula kenangan apabila mendaftar diri sebagai pelajar di La Trobe University di Melbourne 4 tahun lalu. Ketika itu agak teruja juga apabila melihat kad pelajar juga siap 'on the spot'. Tiada keperluan untuk hadir kali kedua ke bahagian berkenaan bagi tujuan kutipan kad yang telah siap. Alhamdulillah, kini proses yang sama telah ada di UiTM Kedah, mudah dan cepat.

Why do I look so syahdu hehe..must be the heat :-P
Kemudian aku bahagian UPTP untuk mendapatkan kad 'access' pintu kelas bagi ketiga-tiga blok akademik UiTM Kedah. Kebanyakkan pintu-pintu kelas dan dewan kuliah kini menggunakan sistem kunci berasaskan kad. (Not bad, mcm di Aussie pula :P). Aku juga perlu mendapatkan makluman berkenaan kod kursus dan jumlah jam mengajar bagi semester ini - amanah tugas akademik/ATA (hehe betul ke ni :-P). Jadi perlu bertemu dengan KPP (hehe sorry there's just so many different terms nowadays, haven't catch up yet with all the 'meaning), Zulhelmey. Zul adalah 'bos' untuk Jabatan Undang-undang sekarang. Aku dimaklumkan akan beberapa kemungkinan ATA ku dan akan beliau emelkan kemudian. Kelasku semua Insya Allah, bakal bermula selepas Hari Raya Aidilfiri :-)

Seterusnya, aku kembali ke bahagian pentadbiran dengan harapan untuk bertemu Timbalan Pendaftar Kanan bahagian berkenaan, namun kelihatannya beliau agak sibuk. Kebetulan terserempak dengan sahabat Yanti Aspha yang juga melapor diri di situ. Yanti memulakan cuti belajarnya hari yang sama denganku. Daripada Yanti, aku mendapat maklumat tentang cuti tanpa rekod (CTR) selepas melapor diri daripada cuti belajar. Sememangnya niat ingin bertanya, tetapi apabila sudah ada makluman awal, maka aku pun turut mengisi borang untuk mendapatkan maklumat dan cuti berkenaan daripada pihak berkenaan. Alhamdulillah aku diberikan cuti selama 6 hari yang perlu diambil serta merta daripada tarikh melapor diri (hehe punah harapan nak bawa cuti sebagai tambahan cuti hari raya :-P), Namun cara CTR ini diambil kira adalah sedikit memeningkan kepala untuk difikirkan. Kata pihak berkenaan ianya adalah baki cuti tahunan daripada tahun kita memulakan cuti belajar. Ada beberapa kemusykilan yang timbul daripada segi kiraannya, tetapi aku pula tidak bertanya lebih lanjut. Yang pastinya untuk mendapatkan CTR ini kita perlulah ringan mulut bertanya. Jikalau tidak diambil, ia akan dikira lebur begitu sahaja :-)

Selepas selesai urusan cuti, Yanti dan aku hanya sempat memperkenalkan diri sahaja kepada Timbalan Pendaftar Kanan Bahagian Pentadbiran. Hasrat hati ingin bertanyakan berkenaan bilik pejabat. Namun beliau ada urusan di luar pejabat. Apapun, setakat hari melapor diri dikatakan tiada status bilik pejabat yang kosong. Alhamdulillah juga, teman sejabatan Irma telah menawarkan biliknya sepanjang semester akan datang memandang Irma akan cuti bersalin tidak lama lagi. Harapannya sebelum akhir tahun, aku akan punya bilik pejabat sendiri, Insya Allah.

Kemudian aku ke Bahagian Hal Ehwal Akademik bertemu dengan Timbalan Rektor Akademik, Dr Mahadzir Ismail bagi memaklumkan 'kepulangan'ku :-). Kami berbincang berkenaan status PhD ku dan juga beberapa isu berbangkit, contohnya perihal UiTM yang mempunyai 2 Kalendar Akademik berbeza-beza bagi peringkat Diploma dan Ijazah.

Insya Allah, kemungkinan sebelum hari raya nanti akan diusahakan bertemu dengan Rektor, Prof Madya Dr Haidar Dziyauddin yang baru pulang daripada menunaikan umrah baru-Baru ini. Yang menariknya Dr Haidar adalah bos baru bagiku, daripada Jabatan Undang-undang juga - merupakan Rektor baru UiTM Kedah menggantikan Dr Zaliha Hj Husssin, bos ku sebelum ini. Jadi teruja ke nak kembali bekerja? Perlu tunggu dan lihat :-)


Hehe.. Bos baru adalah berupa paras lelaki Melayu terakhir ...
kalaulah berjambang dah lama aku mintak autograf :-P

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Abadi



Setiap lara hati yang kau leraikan
Setiap kusut jiwa yang kau rungkaikan
Ingin ku warkahkan kasihku
Namun apa dayaku
Sedang jasadku terpenjara di dunya 
Setiap hati dan jiwaku sedang menuju akhirahmu
Aku tahu kau tahu, fahami aku, aku rindu...
Kekalkan hatiku, kukuhkan jiwaku
Semoga kelak kasih kita bertemu ... abadi.


15 Ramadan 1433 AH

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Tanya sama pokok...




'Tanya sama pokok, apa sebab goyang, jawab angin yang goncang'. 


Ahh mudahnya kalau semua hal-hal kehidupan jawapannya begitu!


Kadang-kadang 'terlalu mahu dan mahu, terlupa apa yang perlu' apatah lagi ditambah dengan 'terlalu banyak alasannya' 

Sesungguhnya 'seaindainya rebah' perlu senantiasa berpegang bahawa 'Kau masih ada', Ya Allah.