Snubbed

"Clearly, I was being snubbed. For awhile I do what most people do when they got snubbed - they questioned themselves, they wonder what went wrong, they wonder what they could do to make it right. Simply said, it hurts and I wish to make it better, to be reaccepted.

Then, realization hit. I realised there's no need to feel hurt, nothing went wrong. Perhaps everything went too well. And indeed there's nothing I could do to make it better, for probably the one that snubbed me was actually the one in pain! Snubbing me was never intended to lessen that pain nor to transfer them to me. It was meant more as a way to give a sense of self control to him or her, at least what's left of it.

If I am right, until the sense of being in control is in the person's hands, I will never be reaccepted. I understand that now. I won't try to make things right. I won't wallow in self pity and feel hurt. I will hold on to my own dignity and live in accordance with my own standards. I will remain calm and move on.

But please know that if someday the tables are turned, I pray and wish that I won't do the same to him or her, for I know, having control is an illusion! We never had them and will never will. Whatever sense of control we have is only what He decides to let us 'feel'! For All control belongs to Him..." ~ When life meets mine, Alisha Uzaira.