Change(d)

I think one of the most naive things you can do in life is expecting people to have the ability to easily change (themselves, their characters, their attitude) because of or for you. I guess almost everyone would have this expectation one time or another in their life. But of course, you'd soon find out that it's almost impossible for someone to change, especially for the better or to accommodate you or adapt to your lifestyle, unless and until the person him/herself chose to do so.Sometimes you'd expect that if that person really do love or care for you, then it should not be that complicated to 'comply' to such expectation. But it's usually not the case, it's not that simple. The Qur'an has clearly mention in Surah Al - Ra'd, ayah 11: “Verily never will Allah change the condition of a people until they change it themselves (with their own souls)..." It may not make much sense to you, it may hurt you, it may cause you so much heartache, because all the while you believed that the change you expected from someone is the best for him or her, or so you thought... Sometimes you are blinded by such belief, it tested your patience and may drove you to the brink of insanity when after awhile (maybe after a long while) the change did not materialize.

It's necessary then to go back to basics. There's a need to realign your expectation for such change in the name of Allah. In other words, questioning yourself  whether the expected change would improve everyone's 'relationship' with Allah. Of course then, you'll need to also question whether the change you'd expect is really for 'the best' or is it merely your sole desire that you are trying to fulfill. If you believe that such change is for the best, then you'll have to be Istiqomah (consistent) in praying for the materialization of such change and not lose up hope that someday your prayers will be answered. It may take awhile, it may take forever and it may even be 'never'. But still, in the meantime you must believe that there must be a wisdom behind why your prayers for such change is yet to be answered. 

I know in the depth of your despair, this advice is not always easy to 'swallow'. You may even questioned the 'fairness' of it all. It's human nature. But you must always remember and believe in your heart that Only Allah knows best. As Allah says: “…and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know” (Surah Baqarah: 216) For the Prophet (SAW) once said, your patience in dealing with this trial (i.e. here refers to hope for change and the sorrows that come with it) will be a means of expiating your sins and will be greatly reward: “There is nothing that befalls a believer, not even a thorn that pricks him, but Allah will record one good deed for him and will remove one bad deed from him” (Muslim). So we have to have patience and trust in Him because He is the Knower of the unseen.Trust Him and Insya Allah our prayers will be answered. “And when someone puts all his trust in Allah, He will be enough for him.” (Surah at-Talaaq:3) And even if it did not get answered, consider all this waiting as a test; a sign of Allah's love for you. Like medication, at times they are bitter but yet it is still being given to the ones you love. In a Hadith it was mentioned: “The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His wrath.” (Sahih al-Tirmidhi).

Therefore, be content, even though you seemed to be at a lost, for you never know what lies ahead of you. Perhaps a better life, if not here, then in the hereafter :-)

*** I have strayed, but marked and changed.
Going back on course, with a space in my heart lying dormant till I'm off my chain
Till then or never, life goes on still ***