Unwell

I have not been so well lately. My cough and cold kept coming back for the past two weeks. This week I slowly started losing my voice, but I continued with my lectures anyway since most of the lecture halls have microphones assisting in my 'rocker' voice projection :-P. Further, next week is going to be a long break. I don't have the heart to be replacing additional classes.

Yesterday, was the worst. I hope the next couple of days will be better. I personally also feel there's something wrong with me. I can't explain, it's just one of those feelings you have. I thought I will set up to meet my gynecologist this month and also set another medical check up with my GP and see how it goes.

Yesterday was also one of those days when all the things that should go wrong would (Oh my english!!) I was reminded once again how powerless I am. That despite accepting the fact that Allah tested you only up to the point of your capabilities, I admit and submit that I am weak! But Allah is the Protector of all hearts. Isn't Him also the one giving all those feelings running deep in your heart? I am lost. I am left wondering if this is all there is to it? Am I ungrateful to be wanting more, to be wanting some change in my life? I guess, first, I need to get well. I need to think. I need to make a decision. I need to take charge.