Baby?
The truth is; I have already
picked up names for them - if it's a boy, it's going to be Umar and if
it's a girl it will either be Safiyyah or Khadeejah. (Not to worry
they'll usually have their infamous 'longer' names of course :-p) In
fact, my initial plans to lose weight was partly because I wanted to have another baby. Well, that part may
not be making sense to some people ;-) WTH? bukan ke nanti mengandung
gemuk gak hahaha... Well, experiences have taught me that the lesser
you weigh at the beginning of the pregnancy, the easier the whole final
part of the pregnancy would be. Further, it will also be comparatively
easier to get back to one's pre-pregnancy weight :-)
But as of late, I am no longer sure that we should be adding anymore family members. Come January, Luqman will turn 3. I was supposed to be giving birth by now, but with so many things going on earlier this year, plans remained as plans. I will be 36 June next year and the thought of having no more children running in diapers seemed so tempting. And since I fully breastfed all my children way past their second birthdays, having another baby meant I have to start the whole cycle all over again. I guess I have been lapsing too long. I have now reached a comfort level of more freedom of movement. Although I do missed breastfeeding terribly (I think it was one of the best experience in having a child) but committing to the whole process meant, I need to find a cooperative caretaker. It took hours during the day to get the right amount of EBM and ensuring proper safe storage and timely feeding of the EBM. It is a commitment, especially the first 6 months (being the crucial months) requiring not only patience on my part but also on the part of the caretaker. The caretaker therefore needs to be understanding and supportive too. Alhamdulillah so far, Allah have been kind to us, Aliyah and Uwais had the same loving caretaker till we left for Australia and Luqman had been with us during my PhD study leave. Luqman's daily care with his current daycare centre has been wonderful so far. I wonder if we would be so lucky the fourth time.
Besides, our work/school mornings and daily routines now is just barely manageable. Having a new baby would surely add to the stress, since an additional routine would need to be catered for, especially with us not wanting to bend the 'no-maid' rule. I am not sure I am up for it. Maybe I am just tooo old for this ;-) What more with the guilt of having to share the care of the children with others. Many times when the children were younger, I would feel like quitting my job. But it was an idea not supported by my DH, unfortunately. He felt it's a waste of my talents. We eventually made it up to today, though.
Truthfully, I am also still traumatized with the experiences surrounding Luqman's birth. (Long story here) Takutnya masih berbaki!! When I told friends I wanted to just wrap things up - some would say that I am still too young to do that. Tak sayang ke? Yer, memang sayang, but I wonder if they would give a hand in caring for the baby especially during the neonatal periods ;-). While some would advice that perhaps it's not a bad idea considering I already have 3 children (with both genders). When I talked to my DH, he said it's alright with him either way. And when I talked to my children asking them if they would want a new baby, the followings were what one of them had to say:
Uwais:
Kita boleh ambik baby baru, tapi kita kena buang dulu baby Luqman ni...
Me (thinking of using reverse psychology) then said:
Huh?? Kalau macam tu, masa mama dapat Luqman dulu, patutnya mama kena buang lah abang (Uwais) kan?
Uwais quickly quipped:
Abih tu, kenapa abang masih ada lagi??
Me:
Erkkk...hahahaha
So much for asking for opinions:-P
But as of late, I am no longer sure that we should be adding anymore family members. Come January, Luqman will turn 3. I was supposed to be giving birth by now, but with so many things going on earlier this year, plans remained as plans. I will be 36 June next year and the thought of having no more children running in diapers seemed so tempting. And since I fully breastfed all my children way past their second birthdays, having another baby meant I have to start the whole cycle all over again. I guess I have been lapsing too long. I have now reached a comfort level of more freedom of movement. Although I do missed breastfeeding terribly (I think it was one of the best experience in having a child) but committing to the whole process meant, I need to find a cooperative caretaker. It took hours during the day to get the right amount of EBM and ensuring proper safe storage and timely feeding of the EBM. It is a commitment, especially the first 6 months (being the crucial months) requiring not only patience on my part but also on the part of the caretaker. The caretaker therefore needs to be understanding and supportive too. Alhamdulillah so far, Allah have been kind to us, Aliyah and Uwais had the same loving caretaker till we left for Australia and Luqman had been with us during my PhD study leave. Luqman's daily care with his current daycare centre has been wonderful so far. I wonder if we would be so lucky the fourth time.
Besides, our work/school mornings and daily routines now is just barely manageable. Having a new baby would surely add to the stress, since an additional routine would need to be catered for, especially with us not wanting to bend the 'no-maid' rule. I am not sure I am up for it. Maybe I am just tooo old for this ;-) What more with the guilt of having to share the care of the children with others. Many times when the children were younger, I would feel like quitting my job. But it was an idea not supported by my DH, unfortunately. He felt it's a waste of my talents. We eventually made it up to today, though.
Truthfully, I am also still traumatized with the experiences surrounding Luqman's birth. (Long story here) Takutnya masih berbaki!! When I told friends I wanted to just wrap things up - some would say that I am still too young to do that. Tak sayang ke? Yer, memang sayang, but I wonder if they would give a hand in caring for the baby especially during the neonatal periods ;-). While some would advice that perhaps it's not a bad idea considering I already have 3 children (with both genders). When I talked to my DH, he said it's alright with him either way. And when I talked to my children asking them if they would want a new baby, the followings were what one of them had to say:
Uwais:
Kita boleh ambik baby baru, tapi kita kena buang dulu baby Luqman ni...
Me (thinking of using reverse psychology) then said:
Huh?? Kalau macam tu, masa mama dapat Luqman dulu, patutnya mama kena buang lah abang (Uwais) kan?
Uwais quickly quipped:
Abih tu, kenapa abang masih ada lagi??
Me:
Erkkk...hahahaha
So much for asking for opinions:-P
So what does all this imply? Should I just let everything runs its due course? Or should I keep my distance to the idea
and just enjoy what I already have? Or maybe I should give myself a
time frame, and once due, head straight to my Gynae to do my implant
:-)?
Beautiful song, beautiful collaboration, beautiful setting, beautiful video, sneakers, gym ball and all :-)
Comments
Post a Comment