Roll Over

When I was younger, my mom always tell me 'dalam berkawan biarlah berpada' which more or less meant in her view be careful in seeking friendships. Maybe she was just protecting me from unnecessary bad influences and didn't want me to get hurt. The thing about me then was, when I befriended someone , I usually gave him or her my all - No holds barred. So when I get hurt or betrayed, I would usually find myself deeply hurt and affected by it all, not to mention my future trust in people. Come to think of it, that's one of the main reasons I have been rather aloof all this while. As I grow older, I start to be a bit picky with whom I mingled and befriended with. And the ones I have close at heart are those I go along with very well, the ones that actually have a 'sync' mind with me :-) I don't know how I know, but I just know haha... (people who made me rolled my eyes are usually not the ones hahahaha) I don't have many friends but the ones I have, I dare say would do anything for me, if need be and I would do the same for them. We can go for months without talking, but when we picked up the phone or meet, we would pick up on where we left off, like it was yesterday :-)

Although, several years have passed and several encounters with various characters may have 'dilute' my sense of choice in friends or the need to have them in the first place, my initial way of choosing friends and being with them remained basically the same. There are times due to some unplanned circumstances I became friends with people that I can't 'sync' with, but I tried as much as possible to put myself in their shoes and understand where they came from, in attempts to go along with them. But haha surprise! surprise! it doesn't usually last very long. I think, once I started to have the tendency to roll my eyes and start 'talking' in my heart about them, then that's it for me. I know then, that I am no longer considering the friendship a viable one, since it would bring more harm than good, especially if I have started to 'kutuk'2 them in my heart. I might as well stay away from them. It's better for all. 

Some will be asking where am I going with this? I am not sure, just felt like writing about this today. Or maybe because yesterday I rolled my eyes and started talking in my heart over a 'friend's' conversation on something. I guess it's time to leave this one behind...

Me ~ With 56 days to go, Alhamdulillah I'm getting better. Can't wait for tomorrow!! :-D

Comments

  1. it's not for me to comment on how one should decide friendship. i find myself being rather critical of the issue as well.

    still, u must know that whatever goodness that u emit, u'll get back the reward 10 times of that at least. being patient with others and befriending them when there is absolutely no reason in doing so, may have its own reward.

    a verse from the quran, something to ponder upon ..

    41:34 Dan tidaklah sama kebaikan dan kejahatan. Tolaklah (kejahatan itu) dengan cara yang lebih baik, maka tiba-tiba orang yang antaramu dan antara dia ada permusuhan seolah-olah telah menjadi teman yang sangat setia.

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