I'm not wide awake...
The past couple of weeks have been difficult for me. When your body and mind won't cooperate with one another it's problematic to get any work done. I'm totally flat by 8 and fast asleep before 9 pm. The hormone countering therapy must be completed every 2-3 hours, which makes any other plannings restricted to those timelines or else everything else will start to fall apart too. Last week, I manage to scrap through work taking one day at a time. I couldn't bring myself to prepare my usual weekly attires during the weekend, preparing whatever it is I eventually choose to wear daily instead. Not as efficient as usual. But I still did manage to reach the office fully attired ;-). In class, I pretended everything's alright, although all I thought of is dozing off. Alhamdulillah, all my degree classes have been finalised. No teaching only need to deal with tests and quizes, which made my stay in class a minimum.
During weekends things got even worst. Most hours of the day would be spent lying on my back or taking long naps. My only solace is when I got to 'berborak' about things with friends. Then, I would suddenly forgot my exhaustion. But of course, weekends make that activity rather restricted since it's theirs and my time for families too. Anyway, if I don't know better, I would have thought I am depressed. Lucky me, everyone in the household, including Luqman understood my situation and leave me be. I'm due for another check up next week. Hopefully, all is going to turn out well, since January is going to be a hectic month. With 60 more days left, I need to be me 200%, In Shaa Allah.
Me~
This song reminds me of a friend in a crisis. Unless this friend accept the fact that s/he needs to let go in order to move on, then s/he's going to be in that crisis forever. But most of us tend to forget letting go is not as easy as throwing things out the window and walking on. When it involved feelings and emotion, it gets difficult and if the attachment reaches the level of addiction or is due to self pride, then it gets even more problematic. Fully letting go entails you throwing things out the window and ideally forget you ever had them in the first place. Is that even possible? I doubt it. But still when the time comes, do you really need to be "Falling from cloud 9, Crashing from the high" before you realize "Gravity hurts...(when you) woke up on the concrete" before you actually let go? Perhaps that's what s/he needs...eventually. May Allah show the way, In Shaa Allah.
During weekends things got even worst. Most hours of the day would be spent lying on my back or taking long naps. My only solace is when I got to 'berborak' about things with friends. Then, I would suddenly forgot my exhaustion. But of course, weekends make that activity rather restricted since it's theirs and my time for families too. Anyway, if I don't know better, I would have thought I am depressed. Lucky me, everyone in the household, including Luqman understood my situation and leave me be. I'm due for another check up next week. Hopefully, all is going to turn out well, since January is going to be a hectic month. With 60 more days left, I need to be me 200%, In Shaa Allah.
Me~
This song reminds me of a friend in a crisis. Unless this friend accept the fact that s/he needs to let go in order to move on, then s/he's going to be in that crisis forever. But most of us tend to forget letting go is not as easy as throwing things out the window and walking on. When it involved feelings and emotion, it gets difficult and if the attachment reaches the level of addiction or is due to self pride, then it gets even more problematic. Fully letting go entails you throwing things out the window and ideally forget you ever had them in the first place. Is that even possible? I doubt it. But still when the time comes, do you really need to be "Falling from cloud 9, Crashing from the high" before you realize "Gravity hurts...(when you) woke up on the concrete" before you actually let go? Perhaps that's what s/he needs...eventually. May Allah show the way, In Shaa Allah.
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