A Friendship Test...

I placed a call to my supervisor yesterday at his home wanting to discuss my thesis' correction plans. He was having a urological problem last month and had to go through a laser surgery at the end of November. Since it's almost a week post surgery, I caught him in good spirit :-) He said "It's good to hear from your charming self" (I was thinking then, since when pulak I became charming:-p). The discussion was of course started off asking about his health. At one point the gist of the conversation was rather embarrassing but considering him at 60, and thinking of him more so as a father figure, I just went along with the whole thing haha.. Even suggested he carry an empty bottle with him around till he recuperate fully. Hahaha we had a good laugh then, since he replied "Yes, I am (carrying the bottle) plus the sarung! But I am having issues with sense and control, you know like 'guru kencing berdiri'" LOL!!!

Eventually we discussed the corrections timeline and the publication plans. Once all was made clear, I let him talk about the others under his care and waited for one name to be raised. But he never did mentioned it. You see, he recently encountered or should I say got himself involved in a crisis with this person. I had some background of the whole situation from the person and thought that maybe he'd mention the matter considering that this person is a mutual friend of ours. But alas he did not. I guess he considered the matter close.

Have you ever have this problem where you are too close to someone and you got worried that if you ask certain things you'd offend that person, so you kept it to yourself hoping that the matter will eventually be raised, giving you the opportunity to say something. But the opportunity never came. Well, that's how I felt, then. The whole crisis was, in my view, over a  misunderstanding of a third party's account of things which could have been resolved peacefully. But both parties believe that they are on the right side and the other, wrong. It got worst when, instead of placing a call, they emailed each other and CCed them to a few others. Emails can cause so much destruction, I have gone through a few myself being caught in between a feud or two, at work, mind you. So they are now both not on speaking terms with each other. Such a loss, after years of working together. The other person had tried to patch things up, but my supervisor being the sensitive elderly person that he was, had somewhat gave up and went on shutdown mode :-(

I myself felt rather sad and at a loss too since I don't know what else I can do to help them resolve the matter. Both parties has since gave up on one another :-( Well, I guess that's life. You can be close friends one day and enemies the next. But in their situation it shouldn't have been the case if both of them had really treasured their relationship. I mean it's common that in a friendship, you get hurt from time to time, but if it is based on sincerity and honesty, I'm sure they will pass this test. I really hope they do. Really do...

Me ~ Going through the same test. Maybe I have failed :-(. But who knows, hearts change. 70 days to go...

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