New Me

I have been really trying to diversify my teaching styles and methods this semester. Instead of starting off my class running, I took the first few classes getting the students to express themselves, opening up on either why they chose to be in their current course, or what do they think of their course so far, or what impressions do they have on the subject they're taking with me.

As much as 'the exercise' has been a revelation to them, themselves and their classmates, it had also been an eye-opening experience for me. I realised that all of them are not merely just another batch of my students, but each and every single one of them have their own story to tell. They have battled their own struggles and problems and they have their own aspirations and dreams. I realised that in my bid to finalised my syllabus every semester, I have often unintentionally dehumanized my students and myself in class. In the past, my lesson plans only comprise of which topics I should cover this week. No more and no less, but somehow by that I was hoping they can coped like any 'good student' out there. I realised I could have done so much more. It was a missed oppurtunity, many missed opportunity, I realised that now. So I really took my time, this time. And I'm glad I did. It seems to have an effect, an unexplained one. I could feel it but it's fairly difficult to described. Something along the like of what happened today.

***

Today, 3 of my students came late to my class. They apologized for being late, for they've gone to the wrong venue (today was the first time the class was conducted at the current venue). I find that excuse acceptable, but what is not was the sudden smell of cigarettes that came with their 'arrival'.The thing is, I am sensitive to the smell of cigarettes, especially in an air-conditioned or a closed up room/area. It will immediately caused me to suffer from a mild headache and of course will alter my mood (and therefore my lecture). I know either one of them (or all 3) have been smoking fairly very recent before they came to class.

So I suddenly took a break from what was being planned in class then and tell them how I feel about smoking. And I guess it caught them off guard when I told them of my 'sensitivity' and questioned their rationale for still sticking to smoking. I hope they will consider my 'issue' with it before they decide to smoke before attending my class. Truthfully, for some part of the hour I had to stay close to an opened window to ward off my incoming headache. Alhamdulillah, we finished the class and they were dispersed.

But something unexpected happened. As I was about to walk along the corridor heading to my car, one of the boys called me from behind, "Madam."

I turned around and said "Yes?" 

And he said, "I'm sorry, Madam, I was the one smoking just now." He promised not to do it again.

In my mind then, I was thinking, I must have done something right. Because this is rare. At least for me. I don't get many students admitting to doing something wrong and apologizing. For being late, that's normal, but for smoking? Not so much. I guess, he can see how much it upsets me, because clearly I was.

I told him to quit smoking, but not so much for all the obvious reasons, but more so due to it being an expensive habit. He said something along the line, that he's trying to quit. I do pray and hope he'll be successful at that quitting venture. I know it's not going to be easy, but at least now he knows, there's this one lecturer of his that's really affected by it, so he will be careful the next time he planned on smoking before my class.

I do wonder, had I've been the kind of lecturer I was last 2 semesters, would he still be doing the same thing? I guess I will never know, since I'm not back to being the old me :-)