FB vs Me

Point Danger Lookout

It has been awhile since I have written anything 'meaningful' here or any life journal for that matter. A lot has happened in the past couple of weeks – I watched a couple of very good movies, I attended some social functions, my concluding chapter was rejected hu..hu.., a PhD friend got married to a Muslim (Caucasian) Australian, I had an eye problem while I went on a break to Brisbane (and the Gold Coast)! And soon after reaching Melbourne’s soil – I am down with a cold (partly courtesy of Melbourne weather) – still down with it.





I blame my inability to update my blog due to my reattachment to FB. I think being on FB always tends to dull and discourage not only any critical writing in me but also any sort of writing. There's something about writing and posting them to an audience of people I know at different levels that doesn’t sit well with me. Maybe I am just shy ha..ha.. or maybe I am not into courting unfavourable comments. Then suddenly I realised – maybe I just cared too much about what other people have to say and that perhaps I am not open minded after all – surprise, surprise! I think the art of agreeing to disagree is easier said than done. There’s always ‘some hard feelings’ embedded in me – well at least if I am being very honest with myself. I think what remain is trying to be as calm as you can when bombarded with unwanted commentaries. And I don’t do calm very well. At the end of the day – I simply resort to keeping to myself. So the atypical in me becomes dormant! It’s hateable. But I was lonely and my FB activities feed on my loneliness.~ “FB where stalking is made easy!” haha..

However, FB is a very powerful tool of influence (and eventually power). Use it appropriately – it leads to many other beneficial avenues to others and yourself. FB also allows me to see how others express their views on certain issues, make their stand on various other matters and campaign for the thing or cause that they believe in. It gives me a space to reflect on what position should I hold in this world. What’s my role? Who am I? Should I simply be a wife – an improving wife? Should I simply be a mother – an improved mother? Should I be involved more with my community – not simply a law lecturer? What is it I am trying to strive for? Can I do it all? Would it be very overwhelming, then? Simply – what should I do, next (well, after I submit my Phd, of course)? And how should I do it?

But the most important question is – what sort of influence do I want to impart and to whom especially? I know the answers to both questions. What worry me most is the fact that with the presence of FB – how do I do both without having or sowing the feeling of ‘Riak and Takabbur’ in my heart whenever I decide to use it as a tool to convey my messages or deeds. There’s a fine line between ‘Ikhlas’ and showing off. Being human I can’t help wondering on which side of the fence I belong to every time I decide to actually do or say something. Maybe having a ghost account would do hehehehe...Well, I guess at the end of the day, we should always starts ‘Lillahita’ala’ and strive to stay on the path solely for him. Insya Allah then, HE will help us contemplate the best plan of action in disseminating His message of truth in the realm – online and offline.

P/S: Oh yeah, did I mentioned my Conclusion was rejected?! Ahh...well, that needs another post altogether!